Polyamory realized

[vaneramos]

Poinsettia at Allan Gardens


Before Danny, I called myself polyamorous because I couldn't imagine limiting myself to loving one person. I had never had a stable romantic relationship, and could hardly imagine what one felt like. Perhaps I was afraid to risk all my dreams on one horse.

Danny arrived unlooked-for. We started with pleasant companionship, enjoyable sex, minimal expectations and no drama. It still surprises me to have this simple love outshining my unrealized hopes. Its worth is inexpressible.

Danny has another partner. From the outset it was implicit that I might someday, too. But with limited time and energy, it's hard to imagine giving away more.

So it's strange to find other expressions and gradations of love emerging, the way I theorized polyamory might work for me. No blinding flashes, simply a warm breath here and there, friends I visit now and again. I realize I could love someone I see once a year, or care deeply for one I have yet to meet. Desire doesn't have to hurt or even involve sex. Recently this variety of interactions has obviated my interest in anonymous adventures.

I'm startled to discover my sex life satisfying. The feeling comes and goes, but overall it's good.