Dis/connection

[vaneramos]

Marian at Belgian Nurseries


I haven't spent as much time recently as I would like reading and responding on LJ. The main reason is good enough: I've devoted considerable free time to the chapbook. But despite keeping up with a few people, I feel a sense of isolation sinking in. My sleep deficit undoubtedly feeds the anxiety. I don't know how to cope with being any busier. At the end of the day it's hard work to concentrate on doing what nourishes me, rather than withdrawing into idle distractions.

Time with Marian is somewhat grounding. We talked all the way home last night, three hours. It wasn't all serious, either. She's the one person with whom I seem capable of endless idle banter.

It reminds me of being together again with certain female friends I had in my teens and early twenties. A bad marriage damaged my capacity for comfort and rapport with women, but I've worked to restore it. Marian has striven as hard as me to maintain and nurture our bond. I'm grateful to have her as a daughter.

We spent the afternoon browsing around bookstores, had cookies and beverages at The Bookshelf, and visited one of our favourite places, Belgian Nurseries.