Dis/connection

[vaneramos]

Marian at Belgian Nurseries


I haven't spent as much time recently as I would like reading and responding on LJ. The main reason is good enough: I've devoted considerable free time to the chapbook. But despite keeping up with a few people, I feel a sense of isolation sinking in. My sleep deficit undoubtedly feeds the anxiety. I don't know how to cope with being any busier. At the end of the day it's hard work to concentrate on doing what nourishes me, rather than withdrawing into idle distractions.

Time with Marian is somewhat grounding. We talked all the way home last night, three hours. It wasn't all serious, either. She's the one person with whom I seem capable of endless idle banter.

It reminds me of being together again with certain female friends I had in my teens and early twenties. A bad marriage damaged my capacity for comfort and rapport with women, but I've worked to restore it. Marian has striven as hard as me to maintain and nurture our bond. I'm grateful to have her as a daughter.

We spent the afternoon browsing around bookstores, had cookies and beverages at The Bookshelf, and visited one of our favourite places, Belgian Nurseries.

Comments

[pr-bear.livejournal.com]

It's always comforting to have some one in life to reassure you not everything is wrong with the world :). For me it's my 2 nephews, and I see with you its your beautiful daughters. They give us jaded adults a bit of hope lol. Good wishes to you my friend :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm fortunate to have several people who do that for me. But the bond with my daughters is a real blessing considering some of the factors we had working against us. Sometimes things do work out the way we hope, rather than the way we expect.

[avad.livejournal.com]

sounds like such a wonderful outing with a father....she is quite a lucky girl I think.:)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I know that I'm lucky. ;-)

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

I just can't get used to her being blonde :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

She has been using peroxide in moderation. It's surprising how much it brings out the red. This is the closest it has been in a long time to her natural colour, still quite striking.

[missprune.livejournal.com]

You are fortunate to have such a companion as Marian in your life, but I know fortune has not much to do with it. It's touching that she has worked to nurture your bond as well.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

She has great determination, more than I do, and seems destined to turn it toward worthwhile objectives.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

what a great image.
I hope that this finds you well and at peace.

love
munkey

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Heading to the nursery today made me think of you and those cacti! It's been a good day.

Love,
Van

[queenmomcat.livejournal.com]

I love that photograph-I think it's the combination of (slightly) goth punk alternative chick contemplating plants in a greenhouse.

The entry itself brings to mind the comment of a friend of mine, some years ago about her kids when they were slightly younger than Marian "For the first 12 years, I was Mom and caretaker. They still need me to care for them, but finally they're old enough that I can do stuff with them." (stuff being a feminist play/collection of monologues that they took part in, but embarrassingly, I'm completely blanking on the play's title...)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Indeed, being a parent at this stage is a little more fun and less work. The hardest job is not worrying too much and letting them be who they are. I realize why parents have trouble doing this.

Marian adores plants. She has an amazingly wide range of tastes and interests. I guess she gets that from me.

[willowing.livejournal.com]

It's very refreshing and encouraging to read that you and your daughter have a close bond. I am so happy about that. :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, it means a lot at this time!

[grandiva1968.livejournal.com]

And you're still a fabulous dad.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I don't mind the reassurance this weekend.

[grandiva1968.livejournal.com]

I enjoy giving it.