This week continued the worst bout of insomnia and emotional isolation I've experienced in at least two years since I started taking mirtazapine: the spiral of anxiety, avoidance, compulsivity, sleeplessness, loss of equilibrium, worse anxiety. I've slept about six hours of the past 72. Maybe it's reaction to recent increased sociability and productivity, with more new frontiers rising ahead, recoiling into my teenage safety zone, reclusiveness.
Today the community garden co-ordinator assigned plots. Mine is larger and more weed-free than expected. Best of all, it already contains two favourite herbs: tarragon and lemon balm. I dug the whole 10-foot square in three hours, then helped a less fortunate neighbour tear out sod. I loved getting dirty fingernails, after 10 years' separation from the land.
The best part was meeting neighbours. Fences are against the principles of the garden, intended to turn a drab vacant lot into a beautiful, welcoming place, each plot contributing to the whole without carefully demarcated boundaries. It's a risk, especially in a depressed community. One might as well forget growing pumpkins.
Humanity's best hope lies in extending trust over a broader scale. It's like intimacy: opening the city gates for troubadours, knowing one might be an assassin.


Today the community garden co-ordinator assigned plots. Mine is larger and more weed-free than expected. Best of all, it already contains two favourite herbs: tarragon and lemon balm. I dug the whole 10-foot square in three hours, then helped a less fortunate neighbour tear out sod. I loved getting dirty fingernails, after 10 years' separation from the land.
The best part was meeting neighbours. Fences are against the principles of the garden, intended to turn a drab vacant lot into a beautiful, welcoming place, each plot contributing to the whole without carefully demarcated boundaries. It's a risk, especially in a depressed community. One might as well forget growing pumpkins.
Humanity's best hope lies in extending trust over a broader scale. It's like intimacy: opening the city gates for troubadours, knowing one might be an assassin.

