Coming home

[vaneramos]

Sliding into the car, ready to drive home from Toronto, I slip in one of the chill-out compilation discs Connor left with me. The first song stirs an ache. A fine drizzle blurs the windshield. I turn on the wipers.

My mother's clan, with Irish roots, got weepy about goodbyes. I take after Dad when it comes to showing feeling, but music releases it. This is also about family after all.

The grey highway winds under a grey dusk. I move through scattered traffic. Red tail lights drift past impassively. I wonder where all these secret people are driving, away or toward, somewhere or someone. Maybe if we could see the threads, we would think twice about cutting one another off.

Victoria Road winds around a pond shining with rain and reflected streetlights.

Coming into the apartment (faint fragrance of jasmine rice) I toss my bag heavily on the futon and turn on a light. The place is empty and silent, but I'm not alone. The computer boots up with a sluggish chuck-chuck.

On a journey of the heart, there's so much to see. And when the sky is dark, you'll be right here, right here with me. -from "Kissing" by Bliss

Love is a place where ego does not live. -from "Pedro" by Dahlia

Comments

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

Gods, that is beautiful. I sometimes just stop and stare in awe of your talent.

I owe you an e-mail, don't I?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You never owe me anything. The short email you sent really touched me, and I haven't had a chance to thank you properly. If you have time to write those thoughts out completely again, I would love to hear them.

You probably realize the effect your post about wrestling had on me.

[devin101.livejournal.com]

I love that line about if we could see the threads, maybe we would think twice about cutting each other off. That's beautiful.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's sad that we live in a culture where it's somewhat okay to take out our pain (fear, frustrations, sadness) on strangers. We need more compassion.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

love is a place where ego does not live


of all the many songs on all 4 of those discs, you've cited my favorite line from my favorite song.

I don't do goodbyes well, so I prefer not to do them at all.
What a great week we were able to share, I can't put into words how much I enjoyed it. Thanks for all the adventure and all of the memories.

love
connor

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm not great with them either. I practically bolted for the door without looking back. Now my eyes are hungry for you again. :-)

Cheers and love,
Van