Ego does not live

[vaneramos]

First of all, I don't usually post birthday greetings here, but special congratulations are in order to my special friend ghostsandrobots for surviving her third decade. I hope that part of me living in Pittsburgh (is it the left side or the right?) gets spoilt rotten today.

The art class is having the desired effect: I draw a little each day, even managing to produce one finished piece. I want to create something entirely different from usual, perhaps a collage. I would like it to illustrate the community matrix that is LiveJournal. But after days of experimentation I end up instead with an image representing one relationship that recently became closer.

We are dark and light together, but this difference does not repel. It is magnetism. I want to convey the electric intimacy. I have previously loved men who felt deep and dark. Those relationships usually ended badly, because I fell into the well and lost sight of my life and purpose. Now I can stand back from my feelings, appreciate and enjoy them for what they are without drowning.

I have a lot going on these days. During free time I feel reclusive, and don't spend much time connecting online here. I try to honour my desire for solitude, but where is the balance? I need my friends, and friendship requires investment. I doubt whether I'm being sensible.

A visit from Danny makes me feel better (we haven't had much time together lately). He stops here for the night en route to a spinning and weaving event in London. He takes me for breakfast at Angel's Diner, which reminds us of the honey-bunny scene in Pulp Fiction. Waiting with him to board the train this morning I feel more grounded than yesterday.

The Rainbow Chorus gives its two spring concerts this weekend: 8 p.m. tonight at Parkminster United Church in Waterloo, and 8 p.m. Saturday at Harcourt United Church in Guelph. Tickets at the door cost $20. I'm not as excited about this as I was for the one in January. It's just fluff, and people are tired after a long year of singing.

So I'm back working purely in Prismacolor after all (the collage will have to wait). However, this level of darkness is a departure from habit. I don't intend to send this particular drawing to Denver, but it carries me in that direction. The details in the dark colours are mostly lost on my monitor. I trust they'll be better visible for you.

Comments

[missprune.livejournal.com]

I like the drawing a lot. Like you, I haven't been connecting much online. Maybe it's the summery energy - so much going on, it's hard to focus on livejournal.

[halation.livejournal.com]

THAT gripped me as soon as i saw it. ASTOUNDING. wow.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

i like this one a lot, Van. are my eyes deceiving me or
is the bottom filled with red and green? ~paul

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Hey Van I really like this, of course on my monitor it's not very dark at all but looks like a moonlit night. it feels like quite a departure for you? especially the outlining around the planets or whatever they are.

[avad.livejournal.com]

love it, van:)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I wish I could call it summery energy, but mostly it feels like lack of. I've been busy, but not in a satisfying way, if that makes sense.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you! The quality of light is different for me.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You're correct, there are some dark red and green tree shapes at the bottom.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Bill. Planets or streetlights is was I was trying to convey. Sketchy lines are actually an old element that I haven't used for several years, but would like to use more. The dark palette is certainly a departure for me.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :-)