Divinity

[vaneramos]

It is a breezy evening. I sit in my car with the window rolled down, waiting for a friend to leave on an excursion to Hamilton. I'm reading I Touch the Earth, the Earth Touches Me, by Hugh Prather. He talks about "a spiritual way of seeing." Spirituality has been a sensitive topic lately. I doubt there's a spirit, or that it's distinct from the mind, but undoubtedly the mind itself is beyond understanding. Prather says:

Sometimes I doubt and sometimes I believe. And I like not making myself believe when I'm doubting, and not making myself doubt when I am believing. Surely neither God nor Accident require my consistency.

Years ago I concluded the God of a literal reading of the Bible was an egomaniac. If a real divinity exists, it offers no simple revelation, in fact its truth would most likely be incomprehensible to us. Even love itself, that thing we lift so high, is only a thing we need, to do what we humans do, and is a minute part of the big picture. Annie Dillard says:

You see the creatures die and you know you will die. And one day it occurs to you that you must not need life. Obviously. And then you're gone. You have finally understood that you're dealing with a maniac.

God must not need our faith. Accepting that, I set myself free to embrace doubt, and discovered philosophical naturalism made sense to me.

Glancing up from Prather, I watch wind lick the row of grass poking between edges of parking lots. Momentarily I glimpse the breath of god, and long to revisit the bare face of intimacy and power. But this desire still seems a blind, irrational grasp for security in the dark.

In Hamilton I attend the opening of a group art show, Reading Hamilton, in which a set of bitterlawngnome's photographs appears. It's at the you/me gallery, presenting a novel interpretation of the voice of a city, and I recommend viewing it between now and July 9.

Bill mentions his recent experiment in writing upon, and then photographing, the human body. In a future project he would like to use the beginning of the Gospel of John, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." In Latin, he says, the word verbum connotes movement and action. The entire passage expresses a profound mystical experience of divinity. As a writer I enjoy the image of god as word, and word as action. Writing is one of my most purely personal acts.

Fundamentalist faith promises "a personal relationship with Jesus Christ," and yet it can only be personal insofar as it measures faithfully against a literal interpretation of 2,000-year-old texts. You might think God is telling you it's okay to be gay but, honestly folks, the Bible calls it a degrading passion. People will reinterpret it up and down, but frankly there's little scope for imagination. This god is more reliable than any living creature I've ever known, the easy answer to human insecurity.

Any religious text is useful only if inconsistency, recreation and skepticism are allowed, and the boundaries of faith are cast down. If the word is not active, it is dead.

Sitting in my car, I do not see the breath of god bending blades to silver. I see a force driven by the great dynamo of this planet, turning sun's nuclear energy to restless, unpredictable creation. I hear resonance of the planets in their ancient dance, the whispered messages of stars across time. Looking inward I glimpse the deep pool of mysticism, with the face of nature reflected on its surface. In my friend's company, I feel the endless theme of love replayed with new nuances and harmonies. These things are as close to the divine as I will ever know.

Comments

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I do believe it's worthwhile lifting the Bible, for instance, from the tatters of literalism.

And speaking of metaphors, I remember one from the Sermon the Mount that tore my heart open when I was 19. "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin."

As a sufferer of clinical anxiety, I notice that passage's message is still profoundly relevant to me: instead of worrying, take a lesson from the patience of nature, and learn to live in the present.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

But this desire still seems a blind, irrational grasp for security in the dark.

I love your writing. Really moves me, makes me feel, has me grasping for beauty and meaning, and for now that is enough.
love
c

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

That's the thing really, and maybe grasping is all we need, and to keep ourselves honest.

I spent a good chunk of the afternoon crafting an email, but I'm overwhelmed by it and won't send it all, not right now. It's all good thoughts, anyway.

Love,
Van

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

I wish I understood what you're trying to say. Are you saying that unless you take the Bible literally, you shouldn't take it at all? I'm confused.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Not at all. Maybe you're looking for something too conclusive in my words. I am merely an atheist reviewing his attitudes about faith, and not coming up with anything new.

The Bible should not be taken literally. It says some terrible things and is glaringly inconsistent. People who use the Bible to denounce homosexuality are deluding themselves. But the Bible does denounce homosexuality, and people who try to reinterpret it to support a more liberal ideology are equally deluding themselves. People who use the Bible to promote any moral agenda are only promoting ignorance.

None of this counters the fact that the Bible contains profound wisdom. And I remain a staunch defender of religious tolerance, because we are all fairly stupid, and each is entitled to his or her own way or of trying to find metaphors (or whatever) for making sense out of the universe that so deeply puzzles us.

I'm certain in my stupid, stubborn way that all religion is rubbish, and I could safely forget about the Bible and still find useful purpose elsewhere. But I will probably not forget it altogether. Parts of it are awfully clever.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Have you ever read the Seth / Jane Roberts materials? It doesn't talk about god in the Xian sense, but has some interesting things to say in that area.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

No, I hadn't heard of those. I have a hard time taking psychics at face value, so it's interesting that, according to Wikipedia, Roberts herself maintained skepticism to the end of her life. The passage I read of hers (not dictated by Seth), suggesting that we need "a new myth of man and his beginnings," was quiet compelling.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Well the thing with the Seth material is that it stands up just as well (or poorly) if you assume she made it all up rather than chanelling it. I have found it to have practical useful applications, and when it comes to this kind of stuff the proof is in the pudding.

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful and profound words, which I'm only now getting round to reading.

hugs, Shimmer

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Shimmer, I'm glad this resonated with you. I enjoyed reading about your odd dream this afternoon.