Randomness

[vaneramos]

My energy is ragged and unfocused. Brenna seems to feel the same, saying she wants to "just rot". Since we arrived home last night she has been content to work her way through my entire movie collection again, and I'm inclined to let her. I spent the morning answering the backlog of emails because love and community matter, but I feel like being alone.

While driving yesterday, half-absorbed in music, I felt spaces opening around my mind like dresser drawers awaiting me to fold words and put them away. Playing with free verse would suit me today, but I'm distracted by the quantity of photos demanding attention, description, stories to be told. I need to write thoughtful essays on the Bruce Trail, or wildflowers and habitats I saw. The dilemma weighs me down and I write nothing.

Maybe I'll go do housework instead. That is necessary, too, and might be more satisfying.

ubermunkey tagged me with the six random things meme, so I'll answer it now. If the task appeals to you, consider yourself tagged.

1. I spent my first summer job in 1983 researching tobacco root rot. All three of us on the study team were non-smokers. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, but still love the smell of a tobacco field.
2. My ancestor, born Severinus Weibel in upstate New York from Swiss German heritage, arrived in Ontario circa 1820. His name changed to Silvanus Waffle.
3. I have 35 teeth, including all four wisdom teeth, which came in when I was 14 and have better enamel than the rest. Missing is one premolar, due to a bungled root canal in 1984.
4. I can sight read piano music pretty well, but am not good at improvising.
5. 23 years ago tonight (August 28, 1983) I recited the sinner's prayer in the back of a red pocket New Testament from Gideons International, and printed my name on a line indicating "My Decision to Receive Christ As My Saviour." It was a hot, humid evening, and I was home alone (researching tobacco root rot) while my parents were away at the cottage. I identified with Christianity until 1997.
6. I have experienced love at first sight. I was walking down a hallway approaching a busy room when I saw him move past the doorway, and my heart fell through the floor of my stomach. Within two months we were living together. The relationship lasted two rocky years with three breakups, and took twice as long to get over.

I have nothing to say about harebells, Campanula rotundifolia, except they were ubiquitous on the Bruce Peninsula.

Comments

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

I'm having that thing again, where I'm worrying about something and the worrying about it is paralysing my ability to do something about it ... maybe you're feeling the same thing, for different causes?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I do have that tendency. This probably has more to do with putting myself under pressure to accomplish things when what I really need is a day of rest. When the girls are here I always feel like I have to be "on". Brenna has given me the perfect opportunity by saying she doesn't have the energy to do anything. I think I'll join her and watch movies this evening.

This is not something you have to answer

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

... just know I'm thinking of you.

Re: This is not something you have to answer

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

But I need and want the two-way thing with you, Pete, so I'm saying hi back.

[vaysha.livejournal.com]

:)

I hope you get a chance to enjoy some solitude, friend.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, I will be alone soon enough. I'm looking forward to it and also dreading it. ;-)