Laundry and potluck

[vaneramos]

Brenna and I spent a pleasant afternoon and evening with Laura and her 10-year-old son, Reilly. Laura is the friend I helped move two weeks ago. Having just left a relationship of 10 plus years, starting over from scratch, she has a lot to talk about. Laura has already decorated their small house beautifully using heirlooms, and items of little monetary but considerable aesthetic value. She has the gift for making something out of nothing.

The four of us went to the laundromat together. My landlord has closed down the laundry facilities temporarily, but agreed to reduce the rent accordingly. Anyway it was fun to have some company. We wandered into the adjoining pet food store and petted the cats.

Reilly wanted us to stay for dinner. Laura cooked corn, pasta and garlic bread. I came home to grab Caesar salad and pasta sauce.

Stopping by the garden to pick cherry tomatoes, I was propositioned by a whore needing money for crack. I responded bluntly, dismissively. It was disconcerting to hear her come moaning through the sunflowers, then drift away, mumbling and whimpering. Why do I feel so threatened and defensive. I wish I could offer some compassion, but that's the response she wants, and it could only feed the addiction. What else can one do?

The company was better back at Laura's house. Brenna and Reilly got along famously, climbing trees and walking in careful balance along the top of the privacy fence. Roy dropped by later with a box of truffles, a housewarming gift for Laura, which became our dessert.

Comments

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

It makes me smile to think of you having a nice evening.

The whore in the field of flowers made me catch my breath, there was some kind of spark there for me. I can see a worn down creature amid this beauty and the contrast is like an electric spark.

I like that you ask the question, what else can one do? You are a gentle soul Van and I don't know how I would have responded. Looking at it now, how would you, or would you even change your response?

Love to you
connor

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

I get it now, for one second I was that whore moaning and wandering lost in my mind and in my need through beauty that I couldn't name or acknowledge. What a strange place to be.

Man I am some kind of random tonight.

Be well Van
be well

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I can hardly think of a lovelier thought than you wandering into my garden and propositioning me amongst the sunflowers. Have a great weekend, lover.
Cheers,
Van

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

And no, I can't think of any practical way to respond to an incident like that. It still tears me to see someone so lost, but she is the only capable of finding herself.

[ghostsandrobots.livejournal.com]

What a beautiful snapshot. :)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Zig. Hope you are well.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Goodness, I don't think I've been propositioned by a whore even here in the big city, and for it to happen there in the garden in Guelph. Poor thing.

I don't think you could have done any differently, dear. I'm glad the rest of the evening was much, much nicer.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's hard to see that kind of thing, but I'm well aware she's the only one who can do much about it. It's ironic that Two Rivers exists to prevent things like juvenile crim and addiction, and there she was wandering through the community garden. Really, it is for her, too, though I doubt she is able to partake of the beauty and serenity in a helpful way. She had taken a big tomato from someone else's garden and offered it to me. She asked whether they were free, and I said no, they belong to the plot owners. I suppose she thought she might be able to sell it.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

I have no patience or compassion for homeless or addicted folks. There are plenty of folks who have shitty lives and bad deals and they live their lives without turning to drugs or living on the street. There are so many things you can do to get back on your feet, get away from addiction. I know it's not easy, but life sucks. Get over it.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Apparently I have no patience either, which is why I told her her problems were none of my business. But I've walked too close to the edge of survival to lack empathy.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

As close as you got, you didn't cross over. Even if you had, who's to say you wouldn't have done everything in your power to get back?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I wasn't referring to addiction specifically. Although I've felt the pull of alcoholism, I saw enough of its manifestation in my family that I avoided it since my teens, and although I've tried harder drugs, I've never felt much interest beyond experimentation or occasional recreation.

I was referring generally to mental illness, because addiction is a kind. In that realm I have crossed over and nearly been destroyed. I still haven't completely recovered from its impact on my life, though I've come a long way. It has little to do with a shitty life or bad deals. I've had a privileged life, but privilege didn't make me any stronger. It's hard to say how I've recovered while others with similar problems died or became permanently disabled by them. I am grateful though.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

I see your point. But I wasn't specifically talking about addiction, either. I also think that a lot of homeless people and drug addicts use their mental illness as a crutch that allows them to continue destructive behavior.