Rope notes

[vaneramos]

It was a good night. Some moments were mind-blowing, some annoying, so it averages out as good enough to warrant at least a repeat session with Art. Whether we will become friends is hard to say. Psychologically we weren't as complementary as I anticipated from talking to him on the phone, but it was mostly an enjoyable visit.

He put me through four different configurations last night, and I was fully aroused during the first three, despite problems we encountered.

He began with a basic seated position, which I began fully clothed, gagged, and bound at biceps, knees and ankles, wrists behind my back. We had agreed on prolonged teasing, so I was surprised that he undid my jeans and pulled down the jock strap (which he had asked me to wear) faster than I would have wished. I like the sensation of having my cock trapped in denim, and I enjoyed it even more when fully restrained, erect and unable to touch myself. Apparently he became curious about my endowment (it does make a pretty picture, in jeans or out), and couldn't resist.

Once I was gagged and bound, Art started using and requesting language I associate with domination and submission, which we had agreed didn't interest us. It was merely a minor irritation, not affecting my arousal, and with my mouth gagged I couldn't do much about it short of stopping the scene. As the evening progressed I put myself more into that head space, as I understood what he needed from me. Sex is a reciprocal engagement.

The first gag consisted of a bandanna stuffed in my mouth and secured with duct tape. I was worried about that from the beginning. The worst moment of the evening came at the end of the first scene, when he removed the tape and tore the whiskers below the side of my jaw, and the fine hair on the back of my neck. This was excruciatingly painful for about 10 seconds. He has gagged other men with facial hair, so I don't know why he didn't anticipate this. Some men enjoy the pain, of course. I don't. Maybe I'm unusually sensitive there. It left me so emotionally drained I was ready to end the session there, however the exhaustion also reduced my resistance, so I agreed to proceed. Art was alarmed that he had hurt me, and declared, "No more duct tape."

Next he attempted to hog-tie me in only my jock strap, this time using a ball gag, in a configuration from one of fd_midori's books. This position did not go as well as the first. We had gone out for dinner beforehand and I'd felt dubious about that, but failed to acknowledge my concern; I had deliberately eaten lightly all day, and should have avoided indulging in dinner. My digestion isn't good, so I soon found myself lying immobilized on a stomach full of gas, unable to release it. I lasted less than a minute, indicated for him to remove the gag, and explained the problem. He hadn't finished tying my legs, so I just rolled onto my side and immediately belched.

Despite all the discomfort, I was still aroused. We completed the second configuration with me lying on my back. He teased me for a while, but eventually had to release my hands so I could jerk myself to orgasm. My hands were asleep from being stuck underneath me. I was exhausted, and asked to snuggle, which we did for a few minutes. I had expected bondage would bring me in closer contact with inner energies, but so far I had been too distracted by unwanted pain and needing to adjust to the responses Art wanted from me. I was exhausted and just wanted to stop, but he, despite having climaxed with me (all over my buzzed forehead), was obviously eager to continue.

He described what he wanted to do next, and it appealed to me. Fortunately, the evening improved significantly after that.

He felt that positions with my hands behind my back were too difficult for me. For the third configuration he kept me lying on my back, frog tied my legs, bound my wrists in front of me, and gagged me with my jock strap, which was covered with my own cum by now, securing it in place with rope instead of duct tape. He used cord to stretch and separate my balls and tie them securely to my ankles, allowing me to tug on them, while my shaft was connected to my wrists. I thoroughly enjoyed this configuration because (a) I'm most comfortable having sex on my back, (b) I frequently use CBT when masturbating, and (c) it provided Art with access to my ass. He began fucking me with my smallest anal probe. At the same time I was able to stroke myself, awkwardly, and I quickly came a second time. I liked that position a lot!

The fourth configuration was mostly for Art's benefit, but by this time I was thoroughly enjoying myself. He used a second technique learned from fd_midori, but I recognized it as a variation on the full body harness or web I've learned to tie myself. A rope girdle helped secure a vibrating butt plug. He sat me against the wall and bound my ankles and wrists. I wore a bar gag. The vibrator was intensely stimulating, but my cock was wedged between my thighs, so even though my hands could reach it, I couldn't really play with it. Art enjoyed watching me grow more and more excited and desperate, and that was partly what he got off on. After coming all over my face a second time, he released my hands and helped me to the bed so I could jerk to my third orgasm, with the butt plug still running.

By then I was happy, but ready to collapse. We went to bed and I fell quickly asleep. Art stayed up watching my porn collection for a while.

This morning he was ready to play some more. I was grumpy and groggy at first, but the suggestion of more ass play soon aroused me. He used a watered-down configuration, simply inserting a large ball gag and binding my wrists in front of my chest so that I couldn't reach my cock at all. Then he fucked me with my medium sized dildo—the kind with a handle—which is one of the best, but difficult to use on myself. He stroked my cock with his free hand, and within two minutes I climaxed again.

Lessons learned:

1. Always fast before undertaking a bondage scene.
2. I think Art's right: positions with my hands tied behind my back are physically draining for me, and perhaps best avoided. He didn't attempt tying them behind my head; I have more experience with that, so might suggest it for a future encounter.
3. Even when I'm helpless and immobilized, it doesn't let me off the hook of being considerate of my partner's pleasure. Sometimes this involves role-playing. Certain things I will not do. I need to understand what they are and why they are unacceptable compromises, and be prepared to assert myself.
4. Ass play is one of my favourite delights, one which I've neglected in recent years except in solo sex. I want to get fucked more often.
5. The intense psychological or spiritual experience I had anticipated didn't happen. I suppose this could only happen in the companionship of an unusual person, and I doubt that Art is on that wavelength.
6. Never, ever allow anyone to use duct tape anywhere on my soft, hairy body. I've always wondered how anyone can stand it; now I know I cannot.
7. I wonder why I am so intolerant of most kinds of pain, but receptive to others (CBT).
   
   

Comments

[champdaddy.livejournal.com]

Glad this was a mostly enjoyable venture for you.

I'm not sure you should expect an "intense psychological or spiritual experience" with someone you know only casually... strange as that may seem considering the intensely personal experiences you've had together.

At the risk of appearing too critical, pulling your hair with the tape is a blunder even a novice top should've avoided. Good that you got past it.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Chaz, thanks for reading and commenting. I hoped that you of all people would. Reflecting on this experience, it seems I didn't really feel free to be myself. And it's strange to say this, but being myself was hardest when I was gagged, bound and helpless. I had imagined losing myself in the sensations, but he had a fairly precise psychological space he wanted us to enter for his own gratification. That didn't appeal to me, and it seemed to contradict what he had said about not liking domination and submission, but at least it wasn't extreme, and it felt neutral enough that I could go there without losing my nerve (and pleasure). Fortunately, the things I wanted done physically, and the things he liked doing, were nearly identical. Still, the psychological stuff distracted me from really being present in myself and my body or expressing myself naturally, which I had hoped to do.

I've received an offer from someone else, and in light of this first experience, I'm not sure what to make of it. I wonder if I might discuss it with you in an email.

[champdaddy.livejournal.com]

Of course you can email me.

[rfmcdpei.livejournal.com]

I'm glad this worked for you!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It was enjoyable enough that I'd do it again, and I learned something from it. So it's all good.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

The trick is probably finding a configuration that works for you. I was concerned about the arthritis, primarily in my hips, so I made sure to tell my partner, and he was considerate of that. As it turned out my hips didn't present problems, but my flexibility is generally poor, which was probably why the positions with my hands tied behind my back were so draining. Certainly there are many fun things you can do with rope that wouldn't put unusual stress on your knees.

Here's an interesting online bondage primer:

http://public.diversity.org.uk/deviant/fsbdgprc.htm

I'd also be happy to demonstrate (g) the one complex configuration I know, a rope harness that covers the torso. It doesn't restrain or restrict the recipient's movements at all, but feels and looks sexy and can hold a buttplug in place if someone enjoys that. It would also be cool to wear to a fetish event.

my 2 cents on bondage!

[beartech420.livejournal.com]

I really believe for the psychological and spiritual aspect of bondage to come through there has to be in my opinion trust and friendship. And that mean months or years of getting to know someone, where you want him to enjoy himself as much as he wants you to enjoy yourself. Bascally there has to be already a friendship and lovers bond. Doing it with someone you just met, I mean there is just no conection with a man, he might as well be a fuckbot.
just my 2 cents,
best regards,
pete

Re: my 2 cents on bondage!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

What you say makes complete sense. I've had a few occasions in my life when a remarkable bond occurred during casual sex, but it stands to reason that wouldn't happen with the first person I attempted to engage in an extensive bondage session. It did seem like we were on the same wavelength when we talked a few nights before. As it turned out, he misreprested himself a little, but I suppose that was due to inexperience or lack of self-knowledge rather than dishonesty. Thanks, Pete.

Van

Re: my 2 cents on bondage!

[beartech420.livejournal.com]

This is a most excellent article with a different slant on casual sex. Which is one possible explanation of the remarkable bond, you mentioned, that occurs. I also put the link on my last lj post. Hope to get a good discussion on it.
Hope you enjoy it!
Completely agree with you concerning you bud's inexperience or lack of self-knowledge rather than dishonesty. Two men meeting and just having sex is tough enough bro!

Also this is just my opinion, when I have sex with a man or men, the passion in me is created when I put my partner/partners pleasures as more important than my own. A lot of times I will say so, like I'm giving up my ego and my only desire is to please you and bless you with my body as best I can.
This gets my ego off myself, and on to his pleasures. When this works well sometimes I don't even have to tell him. I do this he will respond the same way and i feel the us/them boundary dissolve.
I/we become a mass of manflesh pulsing in waves of pleasure. If I was in a bondage event I would say the same thing to my partner/partners.
enjoy the article
best regards,
pete


http://www.nightcharm.com/artspirit/features/vickery/index.html

Re: my 2 cents on bondage!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thanks for the link. That article agrees pretty well with my own experience.