Running

[vaneramos]

Life feels like it's getting ahead of me. Events and activities are crowding me. I crave order in my living space, but haven't had the will to maintain it. Funny how simplicity requires so much energy. Nature is clutter. These apartment floors present a good argument for chaos of the cosmos. I'm afraid if I made time and space to write, I would still have nothing to say.

I brought Marian down for the weekend. She needed talk time, down time, bonding time. Whenever we say goodnight or good morning, she hugs me forever.

I'm running, but I don't know where, whether it's away or toward. I'd rather be still. Maybe I'd rather be in more control, but living means giving some up. I could stand to immerse myself in the wordless vocabulary of warm sand and a washing surf. That's what I need: some attention to my muscles, skin and bones. I'll go soak in a long, hot shower at least.

Comments

[avad.livejournal.com]

you speak my mind today, van.
and you seem such a lovely father.
and that photo has stayed with me since i spotted it on your flickr. painting last night the island cells started to look more and more like this....:)
love, d

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It's good to remember I'm not the only one who feels this way. ;-)

Let me know how the painting turns out.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

A great big hug to you Van.

Love,
Connor

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, hug man.

Love,
Van

[rfmcdpei.livejournal.com]

Body awareness is something I've realized I lack. I think this is a common sort of thing.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I didn't get it until in my 30s. It's still too easy for me to overlook.