Mom on religion

[vaneramos]

Mother on the phone, with the immediacy of mortality, says she grows less and less religious. All the teachings of the world offer good lessons, but she hasn't heard any description of heaven that she likes. Funny how our beliefs have converged, Mom and I: no interminable praise sessions with noisy angel choirs for us, no divine egomaniacs, thank you. Though she might not admit it, she probably doesn't even wish to be reunited with all her relatives. We don't like funerals, want our ashes cast across waters of the lake. "I believe in Mother Nature," she says.

Isaiah felt God's presence not in earthquake, wind or fire, but in a gentle whisper passing the mouth of his cave. Fine, let the prophets hear and say what they will. Sneaky God, always making fools of us. So we are. So what?

I see and feel great power in summer wind blowing across wheat fields. That open, wild voice proves me small, yet the humility bears no barb of shame, no sackcloth and ashes. Sunlight conceived us, falling on dark, germ-laden soil. The same elements that comprise our flesh are essential to every body in the universe. We are children of all. Come my day of farewell, I'll lose my mind, and let the remains ride golden waves until earth can't keep track of me or remember anymore.

Mom says she feels privileged to realize what so many take for granted, that every day is a gift. I learned the same lesson recovering from depression.

The video was shot near Eden Mills yesterday afternoon.

Comments

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

Nice...

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[writer00.livejournal.com]

Your mother sounds wonderfully self-aware and self-reflective. I think you get that from her.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I believe life has brought us both to that place by different paths.

Re: Every day is a gift

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Gary.

[hankdmoose.livejournal.com]

I love this entry. I had a lot of very similar thoughts as I was coming to terms with my atheism.

I put it that way because, after finally calling myself for the first time, I realized I had been an atheist for a long time. It was just a lot easier to hide behind the veil of agnosticism than to outright give up the hope of that eternal "perfection."

Oddly enough, it took my mom's passing in May, 2005 for me to be able to make that transition. At a time when so many turn to religion for solace, I was turning my back on it. Indeed, I had turned my back a long time before. But for the first time, I was able to quit looking back over my shoulder.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

My own experience was similar, although I never thought of myself as turning my back on religion. It just stopped making sense to me.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

so much beauty in this van
I sit here stripped reeling from a trip to what used to be home and your words haunt me and yet by embracing them I'm full of hope and peace.

namaste
I love that line about your day of farewell and losing your mind, it hits me solidly and graphically.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Dear Connor, thanks, and I hope you're finding your footing after the trip. How are you doing? I'm just managing to keep up with everything going on: family, friends, kids. Work is good, but the heat and humidity have been hard on me lately. It's supposed to break tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to that. Love, Van.

[chrisglass.livejournal.com]

The video is beautiful on its own. Your words make it all the more powerful.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Chris. Several years back you posted a photo of some wheat blowing in the wind. When I stopped to photograph the wheat field, I was reminded of that.

[(Anonymous)]

you are a wonderful writer, thanks for this beautiful post.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You are welcome.