vaneramos | Changes

So many changes this year. Family is changing. I'm home from a long weekend at Lake Fletcher with Dad, and Marian and Brenna and their boyfriends. It's a little scary.

Dale (far left) is rough around the edges but sentimental, which reminds me of my grandfather on Mom's side. Tory is soft-spoken and athletic, has a lot going for him, but above all seems thoughtful and kind towards Brenna; these past several years she has often seemed lonely, and it makes me happy to see her receiving good attention from someone.

Marian's latest hairstyle is stunning: red with a blue undercoat. She always wears the green malachite pendant I gave her for Christmas. Yesterday she showed me how to wet-felt.

And here's my favourite Brennaism of the weekend:

"I have CDO."

Me: "What's that?"

"It's like OCD, but with the letters in the right order."

Last night Dad invited a couple of neighbours over. I prepared our quintessential summer dinner: my special ribs, diced potatoes with onions in foil on the barbecue, and yellow beans. It was wonderful, but by the time Dad took our guests down to the dock after dessert, I had hit the wall. I had to go sit alone in the living room. Well, Dale and Marian were there, but I waited for them to finish discussing whether to go for a swim or a paddle, then I sat alone for a few minutes.

It occurred to me I had only spent a few hours at home out of the past two weeks. I haven't seen any of my close friends in that time; haven't seen Danny since three weeks ago, and that visit lasted only half an hour. No wonder I feel frayed.

Dad's golden retriever, Emma, has terrible skin problems. It's draining her energy and I don't expect she'll live much longer. I've never completely forgiven her for an incident when Brenna was about five, when Emma in overbearing enthusiasm raked Brenna's chest and knocked her flat on her back. Mom and I had a terrible quarrel over it (though Dad took my part). Emma, without help from any other animal, converted me from a dog person to a not-dog person. But she was a treasured companion during Mom's last illness. This afternoon the girls and I said our farewells.

It's good to be home. No plans for the next couple days except a writing session with Sarah.