Lists, and the challenge of not getting carried away

[vaneramos]

Yesterday I met Sarah and told her about The 6 Changes Method. I've tended to use the meetings with my writing partner for talk therapy, which might be inappropriate except that she gets something important out of it, too. I love her immensely. We are unalike in some ways: she is not much prone to depression or neurosis. She has the quirkiest sense of humour, constantly making fun of herself and everyone but in an utterly benign way, because she never says it to disparage, and everything she says is true. My sense of humour is dry as any desert, but I sometimes find myself telling stories the way Sarah does. It's amusing and infectious. We are alike in the quality of gentleness, and in being easily distracted from our ambitions, and because we are people who must write—we are unhappy when we don't.

I have habitually briefed her on many aspects of my life—finances, housekeeping, problems at work, parental challenges, to name a few—because it has all been relevant to my aspirations as a writer, as an artist. 2009 was a difficult year considering Dad's illness and hospitalization, difficult stuff my daughters are going through, and my own shortage of work and financial woes. I was much more anxious (and frequently depressed) than in 2008, the year Mom died. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through without Sarah's ear, humour and occasional commonsense advice. Somehow I managed to clear enough mental space to keep creativity alive.

2010 is going to be very different. It has started differently. Yesterday I was profoundly energized, happier than I have felt in months. If I believed in astrology I'd say the stars are aligning. I'll also take some credit for working hard to keep my head up through the flood of events beyond my control, and striving to be more assertive about what I need and want.

I know this: when you expect good things, you're more likely to notice them happening (the same is true of bad things).

I plan to get down hard to writing this year. That is first of the 6 changes.

After we check in, Sarah and I always take time to write lists of things to do. My lists habitually cover all kinds of personal obstacles and challenges, but for a while I intend to restrict the lists to the practice of writing itself. Here is what I wrote yesterday:

Pressing

1. Purchase a calendar
2. Check character profiles, am I missing anyone important? (Yes, I need to write one more)
3. Finish any missing character profiles
4. Review and rework chapter outline

Short Term

1. Begin writing habit, 200 words a day, January 14
2. Set aside 1 evening or afternoon a week, beginning January 28, to revise
3. Set a schedule for finishing chapters

Mid Term

1. Plan a creative writing retreat weekend in February
2. Prepare a revised chapter for critique by writers' circle

Long Term

1. Finish writing novel
2. Publish novel

It has been an amazing weekend. There are a lot of other things I wanted to say, but this mustn't ramble on much longer.

The most important other thing is an observation. When I feel happy I am inclined to take on more and more activities and challenges. It seems like optimism, a powerful hope than I will be able to accomplish much more than seemed possible yesterday or the day before. But ultimately this tendency is self-destructive, because it quickly lands me back in the Sea of Overwhelm. If I try to make my life perfect now, I end up backsliding.

The wisdom of 6 Changes is that you do them one at a time, in small steps, over a period of weeks. So right now whenever I feel inclined to change everything at once, write up a budget, make time for exercise in the morning routine, and this and this and this...I am reminded to stop, take a breath, calm down, and concentrate on what is necessary, following the plan. Don't try to be a superhero, or you'll be disappointed. Leave time for restlessness, relaxation, boredom, and silly old habits. Steps toward those other goals will come in due time, and when they do I will be looking forward to them.

Comments

[eniastoa.livejournal.com]

I know this: when you expect good things, you're more likely to notice them happening (the same is true of bad things). ...

You're also more likely to do little things that help good things along, and to accept possibilities that can lead to more good things as they happen, instead of regretting not saying yes after.

It seems like optimism, a powerful hope than I will be able to accomplish much more than seemed possible yesterday or the day before. ...

And that's the flipside; getting used to small steps one right after the other instead of surge and backslide is a theme in my life now, too.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

What are you working on just now, small step-wise? (I apologize if you have already told me, and feel free not to answer if you prefer.)