Resistance

[vaneramos]

This marks the 14th morning since I started the new writing practice, and I have only missed one. I've been writing at least 200 words a day, so now I have 3,000. It rambles, and most of it is not useful.

It has become apparent why progress on the novel has been blocked: I am unable to access my voice. I know how my writer's voice sounds, and this is not it. It comes from practice and more practice, so this daily exercise might help recover it. But I have doubts. My brain feels like a dry piece of wood at this time of day, incapable of spontaneous, vivid, unexpected imagery.

Another problem is ennui. This morning I had just hauled myself out of bed and was standing in the kitchen making tea and eating a bowl of cereal, when a thought went through my head something like this: "Oh no, not again. The same morning routine. If I keep pursuing my goal, it will always be like this. Why can't I do something different for a change?" (Something different seemed to mean going back to bed or playing Cities and Knights of Catan on my laptop, neither of which is particularly exciting.)

Resistance and negativity. I need to rewrite that little script. Any suggestions?

Comments

discipline

[(Anonymous)]

You are trying to inject discipline and rigour into your routine which don't necessarily contribute to the creative process.
Why do the 200 words have to be written (generated) in the a.m.
why do you have to spend 20 minutes in the a.m. in front of the light box.
If you can only function by routinizing everything....you have a problem.
Do something crazy. Skip the light box tomorrow.
good luck

Re: discipline

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You are beginning to sound worse than my own inner critic. Please identify yourself, otherwise I will not continue to unscreen or respond to your comments.

Re: discipline

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

Well said, Van. And obviously, this "reader" does not know you all that well or regularly follow your blog, or they'd know your history with the lightbox and why you use it.

Re: discipline

[apel.livejournal.com]

Routinizing important things that otherwise tend to get neglected in the general business is an excellent tool for creating good habits and lasting change.

There may be a problem with the way vaneramos has set up his routine, e.g. it might be worth a try to switch them around or try doing the writing at lunchtime instead, but there's nothing wrong with setting up a routine, particularly not since it's a tool that's worked for vaneramos in the past.

[bellakara.livejournal.com]

I know about resistance. I also know that in my case, it's worse if I think about doing it and best if I just get on with it. However, I'm wondering if you need a bit of creative input. I know when I find my well running dry I either listen to music that matches the mood of the scene I'm writing, or I read something inspiring and even completely unrelated - a novel or something that reminds me why I love writing. Sometimes I switch to another writing project until I'm ready to go back to the first. But I think it's great you've got 3000 done. Maybe this is just a wall you have to break through. Maybe you could also vary your morning and writing routine a bit to avoid the boredom factor.

Hey!

[matthewdryden.livejournal.com]

Hey you! I can't believe I've been missing your journal entries. Must keep up with this!

Re: Hey!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Hey there! Well, I didn't post much here last year, but got back into the groove after New Years. I've added you as a friend because when I post poetry (not very often), it is always friends only. So now you can see it.

Now how about your blog? I'd like to see what you're up to, too. :-)

Re: Hey!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Okay, I couldn't see anything when I first went there (your blog), but now I found the links on Facebook. I'll try subscribing.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

"Just get on with it" is very good advice.

So is reading. Reading stuff I like always makes me want to write. One of my other goals for this year is to start doing more reading&mdahs;I'm just not there yet.

Probably the best thing I can do for now is give myself the option of working on another writing project, as you say. Actually I can see using that as a trick to remind myself how much I want to work on the novel!

Suggestion to break the pattern

[(Anonymous)]

Might I suggest sitting back and going over your 3000 to see if there is a pattern of emotion or theme that is beginning to arise that may or may not have anything to do with your current project. It may be telling you to channel in a different direction for now to free your inner soul (possibly a new writing project or painting or musical endeavor?).
Take care Van,
Lynn Brown

Re: Suggestion to break the pattern

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Hi Lynn, thanks for dropping by! That's good advice. Reviewing the material is definitely part of the plan. I've been considering the next step in my new strategy, and the plan is to set aside Thursday evenings and one weekend a month (some kind of retreat, when I can manage it) to reread, review and rewrite. I might also consider working on an entirely different writing project if I keep coming up against the same wall, but I'd like to stick with the plan as it is for at least another couple of weeks and see if I can't make a breakthrough.