Free fall

[vaneramos]

I had a strange and powerful experience this evening. I rendezvoused with Sarah at the Red Brick Café, sat down to write, and fell off a cliff. It was the cliff I have been looking for. I let go of trying to write carefully, embraced incoherence, and allowed words, images and ideas to flow around and through me. At first it was stream-of-consciousness, but certain elements began to take precedence. The process became at once free and focused, directed and open, intense and relaxed, euphoric and terrifying. It felt like lucid dreaming. It felt like being stoned without the heaviness. It was falling in love. It was an altered state. It was mysticism, a naked encounter with the Imaginary Divine. I was suspended between sky and shadow.

After an hour I had to get up and come home. I was exhausted and invigorated. A fifteen-minute walk, and my mind was still rushing. I was intensely myself, emotional, in touch, unfettered. I wanted to remain in that space, but it was impossible. I phoned Danny and told him. I started to come down to Earth.

I'm afraid to read what I wrote in case it is simply inane and grandiose.

I've gone to that place before, but it never felt so highly evolved. I was absolutely sober and yet higher than I have ever been. I am almost inspired to swear off all drugs and alcohol to begin purifying my mind so I can return. I will have some time to write over the weekend, and want to see whether I can repeat the process, maybe even apply it to a particular character who has occupied my imagination recently. This is why I've established a daily writing practice: to be sitting by the open window when the wind begins to blow.

But I can't control the weather; I can only return to my seat by the favourable window.

Comments

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. Of course you know I love this. May a favoring wind blow freely by your window of love and art.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I know! Thank you.

[eloquentwthrage.livejournal.com]

Even if you get one germane thought, one nugget of perfection, one terrific turn of phrase, it will all have been worth it. I firmly believe in overwriting. Even if you get lots of crap, you can always wash it away to find the gold.

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

Yes.

This.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and thanks for your comment on YouTube. It's fun to be able to share another aspect of my life that way.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Hugs. By the way, make sure you keep us posted about your summer plans. It would be wonderful to see you if you could make it up this way. (Spending the weekend with Bryon and Mike.)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the washing was part of the process that night, too. I started just free writing, then about 10 minutes in I went back and pulled out a few potent phrases, started weaving them into a story. That was when the real magic began.

[missprune.livejournal.com]

A great description of the most powerful inspiration!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It's a rare moment, isn't it? But good to know that it happens from time to time. Sometimes it's the fuel we need to keep us going.

[blt4success66.livejournal.com]

There is freedom in writing without regard to content, syntax, or self-editing; to simply flow and let the words drift out as if you are writing one long run-on sentence that may be coherent at times but wildly insane at others.

I try to impress this fact on Kara when she writes. I tell her to write freely and then edit later. There's always time to edit, but not always time for freely letting thoughts flow.

Yay for you...

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear you're encouraging Kara that way!

[pippasporch.livejournal.com]

WOW!! What an experience, one I hope you get to repeat more and more, Van.

"...to be sitting by the open window when the wind begins to blow..." beautiful image and so inspiring. It is exactly like that!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and I wish the same for you!

[threestarblue.livejournal.com]

the zone is a wonderful place to be - it's akin to lucid dreaming when i sleep.

perfection.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it reminded me of lucid dreaming because in that state I can influence what happens, but then I can observe what results, as the actions takes over. That same process seemed to manifest in my writing the other night.

[inishglora.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! I've been to a similar place while working on eggs but it doesn't last long for me.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

How long for you?

[inishglora.livejournal.com]

Until an undesirable wax line is laid down on the shell. hehe :) Seriously, probably about 5 minutes or less.

[artricia.livejournal.com]

You are, without a doubt, the most spiritual atheist I know.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I think that is a compliment. I struggle with the concept of spirituality, and yet it is the only word I know to apply to a certain realm of my life.

[artricia.livejournal.com]

It's certainly a compliment. It's also a little bit of bafflement. I don't quite understand how it works -- but it works so beautifully.

[ubermunkey.livejournal.com]

namaste
lovely lovely ride
thanks

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Glad to give you a ride, sexy.