vaneramos | Reunion

With all the other things happening in my life this summer, I am planning to attend a high school reunion with Danny on Saturday. This is not a general school event, but one organized specifically by and for my class, which graduated from grade 12 30 years ago. The majority of those attending went on to graduate from grade 13 (which no longer exists in Ontario) the following year, 1982.

I haven't seen most of these school friends since a 10-year reunion in the summer of 1992. I was an evangelical Christian, two years married with infant Marian in tow. Subsequent to that I lost contact with everyone. It was partly deliberate. When I finally came out and accepted myself as a gay man in 1996, I did not know how to go back to the small town with the part of myself I used to fear and hide.

Facebook and my mother's death in 2008 brought the contacts trickling back. Specifically, Heather and Sarah wrote letters of sympathy and received my coming-out warmly. I am grateful to them, and I'm glad they'll be there on Saturday night.

Also, if Danny had been unable to come, I wouldn't have seen much point in going. I will no longer hold that piece of me conveniently absent.

We had a small, closely-knit class. In a high school of just over 500, only 33 graduated from grade 13 in 1982. Steve and John subsequently died in car accidents, Wendy of cancer; there might be others I don't know about. It appears that about half of the survivors, plus a few more who graduated with us from grade 12, will make it to the party on Saturday. A few teachers will be there, too. In particular I hope to see Mr. Nespolon, grade 12 and 13 English, one of the first people to notice my spark for writing. I didn't listen to his advice at the time, nor did my parents, but I did not forget it.

We were an uncommonly smart group of kids, and I suppose we have mostly grown into thoughtful adults. I shouldn't feel afraid, but I do. I also feel hope about being able to reconnect as myself, not as a person trying hard to be somebody else.