Crater face

[vaneramos]

The past week seems to have been designed to reduce me to a blithering mass of fragility. First came a fresh volley of hot-and-cold treatment from a certain parent who will remain nameless. Meanwhile other family members have been well nigh impossible to reach, though at one-quarter the age they needn't measure against the same standard of maturity as a grandfather. Then came threats of eviction from the new landlords over a dispute they have with the property manager; we are not at fault so they can't evict us, but it's still a hassle and the kind of thing that digs to the root of my insecurities. Tonight I had to craft a diplomatic letter telling them to f*** off. All this while Danny is on a much needed vacation at art school, a week of classes to launch the fourth year of his spinning certificate, and shouldn't have to listen to me whine over the phone every evening. Guilt is not one of my demons, but this last part makes me feel guilty. The good news is my g.p. phoned (on Saturday afternoon!) and we had an excellent conversation straightening out some miscommunication. To be honest I make things bad for myself by being so f***ing deferential and nodding my head when people aren't hearing me, and not reacting until later. She probably didn't do anything wrong and, to her credit, she took my criticisms very, very graciously. Now we're on the same page and ready to work to see if we can find any cause for ongoing fatigue. Besides the fact that this week has been an ugly crater on the face of an otherwise luminous summer. Oh yeah, and Jack Layton, the politician I respected, the one I didn't vote for (I voted Green), but hoped for. My impulse is to swear vehemently, but instead I'll end with his final words to Canadians:

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.