Welcome the new reality on LJ

[vaneramos]

Well, it is interesting how much things on LJ have changed. Mostly people have bemoaned the exodus, but maybe it isn't all that bad. Just now for the first time in probably three (or five?) years, for the hell of it, I looked through my friends list completely unfiltered. It didn't make me feel awful and overwhelmed. Actually, it was nice. There are a few reasons:

1. The volume is simply more manageable.


2. Some of the most thoughtful journal keepers have stayed.


3. I understand it is normal for a strong introvert like me to require only a few close relationships, and have mastered the social media skill of dipping in when I can and not worrying about what I miss.


4. I have let go of some old, painful, unresolved, interpersonal stuff involving LJ friends. The most difficult relationships are gone. If you are still on my friends list and we have had past problems, I am no longer particularly angry or sad about it, although I do care.

The community has changed but so have I. The structure of my life mostly involves Danny, our home and my work as a writer. I am trying to think when I have felt so stable, happy, content, confident or hopeful, but it seems impossible to compare now with the rest of my life. Happiness actually is a flow, and I simply don't worry so much anymore about sometimes feeling gloomy or grumpy. I crave less of what I don't have.

I sometimes wonder how I can be more giving toward others, the community, the world. It is often said dying people measure their lives according to how well they have loved. No doubt. I am continually confronted by my own selfishness and that of others. It is also tied up with questions about security. When you are accustomed to just trying to keep your head up, the path of genuine kindness (without prejudice) is hard to consider, let alone practise.

Writing makes me feel busy and preoccupied, but might it also be a powerful outlet for generosity? The writers I most admire--Ursula K. LeGuin, Barry Lopez, Cyrus Cassells, Annie Dillard, Wendell Berry, Mark Doty--all exemplify a profound kindness with respect to wisdom and beauty. It is worth considering.

I am glad you are reading and hope you are well.

Comments

[susandennis]

I am glad you are reading and hope you are well.

Right back atcha!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Susan. I can hardly think of any LJer more consistent, and it is comforting.

[susandennis]

:)

[vaysha.livejournal.com]

yes.
our lives beyond the screen have expanded. LJ is still like a touchstone of sorts but one we continue because we want to not as though we need to...at least for me.
I am glad you are here and that you continue to include me.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Want instead of need expresses it well. But you know, there were a few times I wanted to give up LJ but there were some people I would have missed too much. You are a bright light, Miss V.

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

While the volume is more manageable, there are many people that were once here that I do miss.

I am glad you're still here and that life is going well.

...

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Manageable volume sounds rather callous about what was lost, doesn't it? But I have experienced grief. I'm just relieved to realize there's still a lot here to care about. I'm glad you're here, too.

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

okay, so, yes, it does sound a bit callous. however, when I consider my facebook list of friend-postings the word "unmanageable" isn't too far off the mark.

over the past two years or so (however long it's been since I haven't posted regularly on LJ) i've thought about things I could post about, but I've never stopped to put together any of them. now that I'm doing a daily posting, I'm thinking about putting together some non-gratitude posts. (non-gratuitous?) I'm hoping that happens.

meanwhile, i'm still revising parts of The Book in hopes that it might actually attract an agent sometime soon.

...

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I hopes so, too. Ironically, now that I am so busy writing magazine articles, I am beginning to think seriously about working on a book again. Somehow it doesn't seem so difficult when my days are all becoming so structured around writing.

With so much invested in the novel, would you consider starting a new one?

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

Yes.

I've devoted three years of my writing life to The Book and have the basis for two sequels already written. However, if the first story isn't getting the attention it needs to be traditionally published, I've gotten to the point where I'm willing to let it go and move on to another story.

I was at that point several months ago. Then another online friend mentioned The Book to a published friend of hers who thought her agent might be interested in the concept. I've sent the first chapters to said published author and received some very pointed suggestions for improvements. So, I'm back in the deep end of the revision pool on The Book again.

(All of this is chronicled at my separate writing blog: tommfranklin.blogspot.com)

...

[e-musings.livejournal.com]

I haven't left LJ because, for me, it is a safe place to pound out my problems/anxieties and just to write. And now the haikus as a daily challenge.

Similar observation, though, that there are less people posting.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

That's interesting because writing does not feel safe for me, but I am more secure now, not as afraid of the risks.

I noticed you writing a lot of haikus, but didn't realize it was a daily challenge. That's a cool idea. I imagine a haiku would make a good way to start daily pen and paper journal.

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

I definitely feel that less is more with LJ of 2013. It's lovely to read your meditation upon your own happiness. I can't think of anyone more deserving of earthly delights.

And your steadily growing success as a writer is exciting to follow! Looking forward to hearing more about that.

hugs, Shimmer

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

"Less is more"; I feel it, too. I don't know whether I deserved happiness, but I definitely pursued it over the years, like a persistent, awkward suitor. Now that I'm too busy to go moping around at its lovely heals, happiness quietly slips in the back door and starts mending things. I will certainly keep everyone posted on publication news. Hugs, Van.

[inishglora.livejournal.com]

"When you are accustomed to just trying to keep your head up, the path of genuine kindness (without prejudice) is hard to consider, let alone practise."

True. I suspect being in survival mode does that to us. I see it a lot in my work: desperate people scrabbling to make it, or to keep going, just one more day, and it results in witnessing real ugliness, sometimes. But it also results in seeing incredible grace. I am humbled by some of my clients who are still upright despite setback after setback, on top of crippling depression. It makes my problems seem petty.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

This is an amazing perspective. Thank you, Joe.