Introduction

[vaneramos]

It's time to start telling stories from a large part of my past that is not easily revisited, specifically my childhood, my "Christian years," my marriage and my involvement in Exodus International, the ex-gay movement. Most of my life, really. It ended in 1996 when I came out, and a few more recent stories will probably surface, too. This comes as part of a long evolution of my soul, but LJ has helped. My conversations with ruralrob when we met seven weeks ago made me realize I was ready to tell them. A few years ago I couldn't have written without bitterness, and that is not the way they need to be told. Some parts I might never tell, out of respect for the innocent. Other things demand to be recorded. Some of these tales may seem pointless, but I intend to chip at something larger.

This was not part of my original purpose for starting this journal, but it seems to be the place where my creative writing has brought me at this moment. Doubtlessly it's a Pandora's Box.

Comments

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

May this be rewarding and ... er, is "growthful" a word? ... for you.

I've found it so helpful to have sympathetic ears for troublesome parts of my life, including the many years of my own before-coming-out. I've gotten a lot of healing out of telling those stories and being able to let them go.

Hugs.

[melanie.livejournal.com]

LJ has been one of the most therapeutic experiences of my life. i hope you'll be similarly moved by the tenderness of your readers. :)

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

i'm sure your friends would be most interested in these tales.
after all, they brouht you to where you are now.~paul

[dakoopst.livejournal.com]

Expression of such pains of the past can be one of the best methods to obtaining closure in their healing. In addition, your experiences will no doubt be enriching to someone else, too.

Chip away, my friend...

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

But I *wanna* see your box!

Ohmy, did I really say that?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Most of these experiences I have already let go. But I have a couple other purposes in telling them: one is to illustrate how harmful the ex-gay movement really is.

The other is to reclaim those experiences so they will be accessible to me as a writer. A writer's greatest resource is his/her own life. Whether I write fiction or non, the meat and potatoes of the materials but come out of this. In some ways, these difficult memories are some of the most interesting stories I have to tell.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I hope my stories might bring some insight to other people as well.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Paul.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your comments. I don't know you well enough to know your perspective on all of this.

Now I'm writing as an atheist. I don't intend to criticize Christianity, but fundamentalism and religious homophobia.

I hope you will find these posts interesting.

Many hugs to you, you brave man

[djjo.livejournal.com]

Know that your friends are here to support you. In words, and thoughts, with shoulders to cry on, with hugs, and laughter.

May sweet dreams and better days be yours,
Danny

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

You did, and now I'm all wet.

Re: Many hugs to you, you brave man

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Just knowing you makes my days better and dreams sweeter, DO.

Cyber-smooches until tomorrow.