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vaneramosMarian and Brenna just disappeared down York Road, waving out the back window of my parents' station wagon. I don't know when I'll see them next. One month? Two? My life with my children is feast or famine.
It was our best summer. Marian and Brenna started quarreling yesterday. It probably came from the undercurrent of emotions we all felt about summer being over. It was the only particularly difficult day out of five weeks we spent together.
Then, on the way home from a long walk we got into a hornet nest under an old railroad tie. I was walking a few paces ahead and was probably the one who stepped on it in the first place, but I got missed. Marian got four stings. Brenna got the worst of it with five, three of them on the calf of one leg. Brenna started wailing and Marian started cursing. I turned around to see them hopping and twisting in panic, not knowing which way to run. I didn't know what was going on.
They're dying, R2, they're dying!
After a wild dance and flight down the path, after some tears, after I crept back to the hornet nest to retrieve Marian's sandal, we started recounting the story from our various points of view, turning it into a family legend. By the time we got home, we were all laughing. We had no more quarrels in the evening.
Other than yesterday they got along better than they have for several years, and I rarely had cross words with them. I wish we all knew how to express our feelings more effectively, but it's difficult to influence those patterns in a few weeks.
The sense of fun and camaraderie in my photos of the girls is genuine, I believe. It wasn't always that clear. The previous summer my relationship with Marian was quarrelsome and stressful. She has matured somewhat, but part of the difference is in me. I have been looking after myself better the past year. I kept better sleep patterns and continued some writing practice while they were with me. We had a better routine for meals and getting out to do different things every day. I was more careful with money, which meant less stress in the long run. My one chief regret is that, due to financial constraints and a shortage of energy, I didn't take them camping like I usually do.
I felt a little weepy standing down on the curbside in the rain, waving. But it didn't come from any sense, like I have had in the past, that I might lose them. My bond when we hugged goodbye, particularly with Marian, was palpable. Brenna was more matter-of-fact about it, but that is her temperament. My emotions came from turning the final page on another chapter, a good one.
I'm glad I have plans for the weekend, so I don't have to stay here alone for long.
It was our best summer. Marian and Brenna started quarreling yesterday. It probably came from the undercurrent of emotions we all felt about summer being over. It was the only particularly difficult day out of five weeks we spent together.
Then, on the way home from a long walk we got into a hornet nest under an old railroad tie. I was walking a few paces ahead and was probably the one who stepped on it in the first place, but I got missed. Marian got four stings. Brenna got the worst of it with five, three of them on the calf of one leg. Brenna started wailing and Marian started cursing. I turned around to see them hopping and twisting in panic, not knowing which way to run. I didn't know what was going on.
They're dying, R2, they're dying!
After a wild dance and flight down the path, after some tears, after I crept back to the hornet nest to retrieve Marian's sandal, we started recounting the story from our various points of view, turning it into a family legend. By the time we got home, we were all laughing. We had no more quarrels in the evening.
Other than yesterday they got along better than they have for several years, and I rarely had cross words with them. I wish we all knew how to express our feelings more effectively, but it's difficult to influence those patterns in a few weeks.
The sense of fun and camaraderie in my photos of the girls is genuine, I believe. It wasn't always that clear. The previous summer my relationship with Marian was quarrelsome and stressful. She has matured somewhat, but part of the difference is in me. I have been looking after myself better the past year. I kept better sleep patterns and continued some writing practice while they were with me. We had a better routine for meals and getting out to do different things every day. I was more careful with money, which meant less stress in the long run. My one chief regret is that, due to financial constraints and a shortage of energy, I didn't take them camping like I usually do.
I felt a little weepy standing down on the curbside in the rain, waving. But it didn't come from any sense, like I have had in the past, that I might lose them. My bond when we hugged goodbye, particularly with Marian, was palpable. Brenna was more matter-of-fact about it, but that is her temperament. My emotions came from turning the final page on another chapter, a good one.
I'm glad I have plans for the weekend, so I don't have to stay here alone for long.
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Date: 2003-08-29 08:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-29 09:08 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2003-09-02 02:12 pm (UTC)