Bridging employment supports

[vaneramos]

Another good thing that has happened over the past few months was that I got into a program of Canadian Mental Health Association called Bridging Employment Supports. It is designed for people with disabilities, including mental health concerns. I registered not long after going into the day hospital program last February, but sat on a waiting list for several months. It involves one-on-one counseling sessions for 8 weeks or so. Apparently I accessed the same program in Guelph in the late 90s (my new counselor has a record of it), but I hardly remember it. I do remember having a counselor in some program who I met for several weeks, who I really liked, and who was ready to go to bat and make connections for me before her program got cut. Thank you very much, Mike Harris (Ontario premier at the time who cut funding for mental health programs). I didn't find a steady job until 2006.

This time around the program seems much different. The counselor is another great fit for me. The first few weeks we focused on identifying my aptitudes, interests, skills, experiences -- a lot of the usual exercises you might associate with a job finding program -- but also a few that surprised me.

One of the most interesting was a questionnaire about , "What motivates you?" Some people want to get ahead in their careers, some seek personal development, some want stability, for some it meets social needs, and so on. Sometimes our motivations collide. What I learned is that I am primarily an authenticity seeker: my work and the people I work with must mesh with my personal values, and I must feel free to express myself honestly and creatively. This motivation pretty much trumps anything else I might want. Freelance careers are ideal for authenticity seekers because they can choose what to do and who to work for. I love the freelance work I do. It has been a light through the tunnel of the past two years.

But the absence of job stability they can be terrible for people who want financial stability. Financial stability has never been an obvious motivator for me. If anyone asked, I would usually say I don't care about much about money, but I expect to be compensated fairly for the work I do.

Some motivation types (authenticity seekers and socializers, for example) are unlikely to change in the course of their lives -- those things are part of a person's termperament. Others (career climbing, stability seeking) can be more age-dependent or situational. I grew up with financial stability, so it turns out money is a significant, unconscious motivator for me. In fact, when I have financial problems, I crash and burn. This exercise provided crystal clear insight not only to the depressive episode of the past two years, but to ongoing difficulties of the past 22. In particular, now I understand why I've always experienced emotional barriers to pursuing the work I feel passionate about as an authenticity seeker. It never offered a quick fix to financial problems that overshadowed me. Without Danny's support, I doubt I would ever have taken the leap of faith to start getting my work published (and getting paid for it), as I did in 2012.

Additionally this insight also clarifies something I was aware of about my community involvements but had trouble pinning down: I don't do well when financial uncertainties are involved. This is why I felt so drained in organizing the men's knitting retreat (an event in 2016 that meant a lot to me), and taking on board responsibilities for our spinners' and weavers' guild. It was even a challenge the year I organized the annual reunion for a few high school friends (which happened concurrently with the knitting retreat, and that was far more difficult). In contrast, I loved volunteering as a librarian at Out On The Shelf -- until I got involved in fundraising programs! So it isn't going to hurt me to get involved in the community organizations that mean so much to me (as an authenticity seeker). But in future I'll avoid taking on any financial responsibilities. Sure, all of these things need money, but I need my own affairs in order before I can be much use to anyone else.

This clarifies the importance of having more financial stability of my own, independent of anyone else. In practical terms, a part-time job will help me contribute more to the household income and save towards retirement. As an authenticity seeker I might not need that job to make use of my best skills as a writer, but it must support things I value, like the environment, community, or the arts. If I try to do business writing (which most freelancers do for their bread and butter work), it should be for non-profits. It will not replace my work as a journalist, but hopefully support and augment it. This is profoundly useful to understand. It helps me appreciate why I'd consider starting to work at minimum wage for a library, conservation program, or community organization, but would hate a better-paying job for a corporation.

It also helps me understand other people, and why they hold jobs that don't necessarily reflect their values. In fact, the work sheet revealed that as an authenticity seeker, "you are part of a small percentage of the workforce." It didn't say any of the other motivation types were uncommon. I've often heard an inner voice telling myself, "Sure you love doing these things, sure they're worthwhile, don't underestimate the importance of them, but your interests and skills just don't fit in anywhere. Consumer society doesn't value them. Consumer society is stupid. It's not your fault, but it sucks." I'd like to stop bashing myself over the head with that particular shape of despair. The motivational test says I'm a rare breed, but that means I'm not alone. Undoubtedly there are people who want to employ people like me.

In case you're interested, here's the whole list of motivations from What Next? by Barbara Moses:

• sociability seekers


• career builders


• authenticity seekers


• personal developers


• autonomy seekers


• novelty seekers


• stability seekers


• lifestylers

Anything sound familiar? Most freelancers are probably authenticity seekers, autonomy seekers (i.e. rebels without a cause), novelty seekers (boredom is death!), or lifestylers (people who want to control work/life balance, either because liesure activities are essential to who they are, or because of temporary concerns, like having children).

From Bridging Employment Supports, I'm preparing to switch gears into a Links to Work program. This helps with:

1. the job search itself.


2. developing an employment wellness plan, including a self-care plan, and determining what supports are needed from CMHA and potential employers.


3. developing job search and interview skills.


4. once I secure a job, 12 weeks of job maintenance coaching.

This all seems immensely helpful, as I haven't actually gone through a successful job interview in 26 years. And in most of the steady employment I've had, I've floundered. Now I understand some of the reasons why.

Things are much different now in the world. And I am different, too. So I hope this program is as helpful as it looks, and has been so far.

Comments

[smileyfish.livejournal.com]

Authenticity and novelty here, Van. This was a really interesting post and I feel I would also benefit greatly from this style of counselling. I'm really glad it's been a positive experience for you.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

We're so much alike, Toni! Novelty seeking was also high on my list, and it was the first attribute I recognized in myself 30 years ago. That was why I decided suddenly to go into journalism 30 years ago instead of landscape architecture, which would have required another 3 or 4 years of university. I imagine it's a much more important part of my ideal working style, but just as I can't function without authenticity, the need for financial insecurity unfortunately also trumps my other interests.