African Nativity

The story of Jesus' birth does not hold much personal meaning for me anymore, but I still prize these hand-carved ebony Nativity figures, partly because of who gave them to me. The set includes Jesus, a cradle, Mary, Joseph, two shepherds, two sheep and three wise men. Joseph had a shepherd's crook that fit in a hole in his hand, but it is missing.

I became good friends with Peter and Nancy in university. Peter and I were roommates for several semesters. They eventually got married. Later they went to Zaire with Mennonite Central Committee and lived as missionaries in a rural community for several years. Like many Mennonites, Peter believed in love in action and showing respect for Native cultures. Nancy had reproductive problems, which forced them to return to Canada, where they succeeded in having several children. Peter brought these Nativity figures back from Africa for me.

Peter and Nancy helped me at some crucial times in my life. When my marriage was failing, they offered to mediate, but my wife did not want mediation.

After we separated, all of my Christian friends abandonned me except Peter and Nancy. When I decided to come out of the closet, Peter was the first friend I remember telling. It wasn't a huge surprise. I had discussed my "struggle" with homosexuality with him ever since I first knew him, but my attitude had changed.

"If I ever have another relationship," I told him, "it will be with a man."

"I don't understand," Peter said, "but you're still my friend."

That was all I asked. He was there for me through the first several years. He became busy with graduate work, raising small children and working as a family counselor, so we gradually got out of touch. They still live in Guelph, and I hope our friendship might resume someday. Regardless of whether it does, I feel indebted to him for helping me survive some of the hardest times in my life and reassuring me that I was worthy of respect.

On the day I told him, Peter also gave me a leather Coptic cross. Mennonites have a long-standing relationship with the Coptic Church in Egypt. While other missionaries tried to force European culture on these Africans, the Mennonites respected their way of doing things. I wore that cross as a symbol of tolerance overcoming bigotry and oppression. Unfortunately it was lost when someone broke into my car a few months later.

I still have the Nativity figures, though, and they hold the same meaning for me. The most powerful thing about these figures is that their faces are African.

( Another favourite Christmas decoration )

Christmas 2003

Here I am on Christmas morning doing the same thing as lfkbear. I'm not alone, but Brenna is busy making little critters out of a bundle of new pipe cleaners, and Marian is already well into The Sword of Shannara, so I'm sitting at my computer. My worst fear was that Christmas would be just like every other day, but now that the reality has arrived, it isn't a bad thing.

I was lonelier as a teenager than I am now. Christmastime would usually bring home my older brothers with their wives, relieving the stress and boredom of being alone with my parents. I expected Christmas to be happier than other times, and usually it was.

Unfortunately I don't have any contact with my brothers now, but that isn't the point. What matters is that I'm generally happier now than I have been for most of my life. I have had some depression the past couple of months, but the big picture looks okay.

My daughters are good company and so is myself most of the time. It would be nice to have friends drop by for hors d'ouevres, but maybe that will happen tomorrow or the next day. It would be nice to sit and have a quiet coffee on the couch with djjo, but I remember how happy he was about seeing his parents and sister for the first time in 18 months, so I can wait four days. I am content.

It's time I went for a comfortable, hot shower.

Season's Greetings

from all of us...



and the Eramosa River.

Danny's handiwork

djjo knit these wonderful scarves for me to give Brenna and Marian for Christmas. The girls appreciated them a lot. I think it was Brenna's favourite gift. She likes it so much she has been wearing it around the apartment.