Antisocial?

Loner, outsider, outcast, misfit, reject. I have always attached negative labels to my introversion, but this attitude is shifting rapidly. My creative accomplishments have caused me to want more time alone. As in the past, this raised the question, "What is wrong with me?" Am I depressed?

This time the answer is clearly: "No, nothing is wrong."

I haven't been isolating myself or cutting people off. I'm growing more comfortable with myself than ever. Solitude gratifies because it has started working.

A sign of self-confidence is that I feel less defensive. I can give time to others because I understand the choice. When R phoned yesterday, part of me initially resisted inviting him. Instead of rejecting that feeling as antisocial, or presuming it arose from depression, I honoured and considered it. Another part of me wished to offer hospitality. I weighed the two voices, and went with the latter.

Tonight I am alone again, feeling tired but rewarded.

It seems an essential lesson. I might think of myself as a hermit or even an eccentric, but let's do away with that loner epithet. I really do like people, too. Experience is empowering me to experiment with, and correct the balance.

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This series of photos was taken today atop Queen Street hill, which overlooks downtown Guelph. The cloudscapes were inspired by a recent photo series posted by bitterlawngnome.





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Another photo is posted in doorwindowwall.
Another photo is posted in iamthelorax.