Laundry and potluck

Brenna and I spent a pleasant afternoon and evening with Laura and her 10-year-old son, Reilly. Laura is the friend I helped move two weeks ago. Having just left a relationship of 10 plus years, starting over from scratch, she has a lot to talk about. Laura has already decorated their small house beautifully using heirlooms, and items of little monetary but considerable aesthetic value. She has the gift for making something out of nothing.

The four of us went to the laundromat together. My landlord has closed down the laundry facilities temporarily, but agreed to reduce the rent accordingly. Anyway it was fun to have some company. We wandered into the adjoining pet food store and petted the cats.

Reilly wanted us to stay for dinner. Laura cooked corn, pasta and garlic bread. I came home to grab Caesar salad and pasta sauce.

Stopping by the garden to pick cherry tomatoes, I was propositioned by a whore needing money for crack. I responded bluntly, dismissively. It was disconcerting to hear her come moaning through the sunflowers, then drift away, mumbling and whimpering. Why do I feel so threatened and defensive. I wish I could offer some compassion, but that's the response she wants, and it could only feed the addiction. What else can one do?

The company was better back at Laura's house. Brenna and Reilly got along famously, climbing trees and walking in careful balance along the top of the privacy fence. Roy dropped by later with a box of truffles, a housewarming gift for Laura, which became our dessert.

Cyprus Lake flashback, 1999

This week as I've been busily recording our most recent experience of Bruce Peninsula, Brenna has engaged in one of her favourite pastimes: watching movies. She watched seven on Tuesday alone. Last night she started rooting through our small collection of home movies, mostly recorded before the separation when the girls were very small. My ex kept the camcorder, but has hardly used it, if ever.

This morning Brenna hit gold: a video of our first visit to Cyprus Lake. I must have borrowed the camcorder for our first camping trip, although I have no memory of doing so. The segment was shot on August 26 and 28, 1999. Marian was 7 and Brenna was 5. It shows them hiking along the cliff overlooking Georgian Bay, swimming in Cyprus Lake, and riding on the Great Blue Heron, the larger glass bottom boat from Tobermory.

A video captures the way people move, the sound of their voices. I had no idea I had a record of my daughters this way from the time when they were little girls, but no longer toddlers. Marian is quiet and intent, constantly searching under and between stones. Brenna is sunny and talkative, interacting more with me and the camera. They are both articulate and observant for their ages. They spot wildflowers, snails, a leopard frog, a heron posing on the lake.

During our swimming episode, I conduct this interview:

Van: Don't splash me, Marian. Got a camera. So....don't splash me, Marian! Don't dive at me. Bren, just stay back. I can't fit you in the camera when you come so close. Stay right where you are. What's your favourite thing about camping so far, Brenna?
Brenna: Swimming!
V: What about you, Marian? What's your favourite thing about camping so far?
Marian: Everything.
B: I think it's everything, too.
M: Except that there's a whole bunch of people talking when you try to go to sleep.
V: What's your favourite thing about Cyprus Lake?
M: There's lots of wildlife in it.
V: What's the most interesting wildlife you've see so far?
M: Water snakes. And snowshoe hares.
B: It would be neat if we saw a deer and I'd also like to see a moose.
M: What did she say?
B: Hey, Marian, why did you splash me? I was trying to say something. Hey, what about going deeper in the water?
M: Come on, Daddy! Hey, everybody watching this film, wanna see my impression of a whirlpool?
B: Hey, that's stinky!
M: Did ya see that?
V: Mm-hmm.
B: That was stinky! Hello, Daddy, I am dancing like a baby-baby! Hey, when will you put the camera back, which is a camcorder?
V: When I'm done recording. We want to remember our camping trip, don't we?
B: I want to remember! Hey, where's the moose?

In the first photo below we are onboard Blue Heron V headed for Flowerpot Island, August 23, 2006. The guy who took the picture looked like Bruce Willis and had two teenage boys with him. The second photo is from Flowerpot Island.

Brenna and I are leaving for the cottage in a couple hours, and Marian will join us tomorrow night for a last visit with my parents before school starts. They go home Sunday, then I'll be in Toronto for the rest of the weekend. Enjoy the holiday, everyone.

Go ahead and bully

Toronto psychiatrist Joseph Berger, M.D., advocates school bullying as a valid therapy to discourage sexual variance in children:

I suggest, indeed, letting children who wish go to school in clothes of the opposite sex -- but not counselling other children to not tease them or hurt their feelings. On the contrary, don't interfere, and let the other children ridicule the child who has lost that clear boundary between play-acting at home and the reality needs of the outside world. Maybe, in this way, the child will re-establish that necessary boundary.

This statement on the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality website appears in response to an article in the San Francisco Chronicle about a private Oakland school that is throwing out gender boundaries. I wonder whether there is basis for action against a Canadian doctor inciting this kind of hatred.