Marian at 12

[vaneramos]

Near Queen and Spadina
Toronto
Sunday afternoon

The past week our relationship deepened considerably. I have never met anyone else who thinks so much like me or shares my obscure sense of humour. We both crave wilderness and simplicity, enjoy good food, feel cynical about popular culture and believe in living life to the fullest. We had some long, hard laughs in the car.

Comments

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

That "liking to shock people" seems to be a very common persona for bright young women who are displeased with certain factors in their lives. Not having met Marian I can't say something more individual about her. But many of my friends have commented about how it is for young women, and from what I've seen of that age myself, my sense is that she's entering the age at which smart young women start to notice their own power, but also start noticing the many things in the world that are still stacked against bright young women.

I'd hate to get into a victim mentality, but adolescence IS a big deal, and I think bright young women face particular challenges.

Like you, I'd worry about the temptation to take her defiance farther than her good sense. There is a LOT that really OUGHT to be defied. But I have women friends who were quite rebellious at that age and rebelled so hard that they burned out. It's a tough balance, not to go to those extremes.

But this is why she's--dare I use such a religiously loaded word--blessed to have you as her father. I haven't seen how you really interact with her, but my time with you and our online conversations give me a lot of confidence about the tools you bring to bear on being a great father to a young woman like Marian.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I'm concerned that she'll put too much energy into rebelling against the strict dress code etc. at her boarding school next year. It is not a religious school, so I don't think it will try to curb her freedom to think and question things like the old one did. I have been encouraging her to save her energy for the important battles and not make herself miserable over the superficial ones.

[grandiva1968.livejournal.com]

My sentiments exactly.