Wayne Besen on bisexuality

[vaneramos]

Considering I've promoted Wayne's blog recently, I want to take issue with today's post, "New study: bisexuality is bullshit":

Personally, I have no problem with men who want to claim that they are bisexual. In fact, I really don't care if they want to date aliens, as long as they don't work to pass anti-gay laws.

Nevertheless, I have my reasonable doubts about true bisexulaity in men. Let's face it, every single one of the young guys I came out with when I was 17 who identified as bisexual are now exclusively gay. Claiming bisexuality was a convenient crutch in a terribly homophobic society.

The ensuing discussion annoys me even more. Ben K:

Bisexuals are fake.

My comment:

It's sad that gays and lesbians so readily dismiss bisexuals. You would think they would be more self-aware of their own ignorance and prejudice, but it seems people, no matter how marginalized, will always look for someone else to marginalize.

Sure, bisexuality might be a cop-out or crutch for some. That doesn't justify dismissing the experiences of anyone who claims to be bisexual. I'm gay. The bi men I know are primarily active in same-sex relationships, but also feel an attraction to women. But it's not a popular subject in gay circles. I've known several women who considered themselves bi, but were afraid to admit it to their lesbian friends. Lesbian biphobia can be particularly hostile.

The discussion here reminds me of straight people who claim they don't know any gays. Maybe it's your intolerance that keeps them in the closet.

Comments

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I just want to say how much I appreciate your contribution to the whole discussion, Cat. Remind me to ask for your input if I ever do any serious writing on sexuality.

What are they playing at, indeed! Lately I've been intrigued by certain unexplored complexities in my own sexuality. It's stupid for people to downplay complexity, considering the benefits one might derive from it.

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

*blush* Thank you. I don't know that I am all that constructive in my contributions--I am impatient and easily irritated. But I have a hard time listening to a bunch of people saying untrue things about a group I belong to and not speaking up and saying "Hey, that's not true for me".

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

Except, of course, that I'm not a bi guy. But statements about bisexuality do affect me, if only because whatever determinations they make about bisexuality based on their extensive work with a chair, a tumescence collar, and a selection of cheap porn from the local XXX rental place, are going to be applied to me eventually.