Footing

[vaneramos]

Goody’s wake was held last night at the house he shared with jgrizz and weebax. I experienced unforeseen strangeness upon entering his room with clothing and possessions laid out, hearing stories they elicited, even my own small story.

What hit hardest was realizing I don’t know all Goody went through, but I know the territory of depression. I cried briefly with Danny and Ethan because even though there were times when I lost hope, I somehow escaped the phantom of my own suicide. I was lucky to find a footing. I grieved for him who did not. I could never look down on anyone who felt he had exhausted his options. Those who consider this act selfish are ignorant.

With each passing year I am happier. I’ve worked to honour and believe in myself better, seeking friends who reinforce this self-image. I must stave off my worst demon, which still visits me, the habit of isolating myself. I am struck by the fact that 12 men on my friends list attended the gathering, only one I knew before LJ. This community has not been the only factor in my recovery, but it is an important one for which I’m grateful.

Comments

[missprune.livejournal.com]

The last paragraph makes me smile (you know why, Van!)

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm also grateful for the online friends and circumstances who brought me to LJ.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Yeah I think people who percieve this community as somehow not real, or just a toy, either aren't doing it right or just don't know what they're talking about.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Like so much of life, I guess LJ is what you make of it.

[rticboy.livejournal.com]

Glad to have you as an LJ friend. Nice to see you again yesterday and this morning. HUGS!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was great connecting with you. I noticed on your info page that we share some intriguing outdoor interests.

[rticboy.livejournal.com]

Yes, we definitely do! So, what is your interest in things ecological and sustainable? It's a huge interest of mine, and the subject of my thesis research.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

LJ finally delivered your comment!

For my undergrad I majored in wildlife biology and minored in ecology, and one of my summer jobs during university was in ecological research. But I have been a nature geek all my life. I maintained an online nature column for several years but have taken a break from that. I tend to make a lot of ecological references in my creative writing.

I'm not an authority on sustainability. But to put it simply, I believe we need to conisder how to live sustainably on this planet, otherwise quality of life is going to deteriorate for future generations, and may even do so in our lifetime.

[rticboy.livejournal.com]

It's amazing sometimes how slow technology is, don't you think?

For me, the outdoors has always been part of my life. I grew up camping and canoeing. I like to explore off the beaten track types of places.

Educationally, my undergrad is in environmental studies and I went on to do a post-grad certificate in environmental assessment. I was never able to find work in the field, though that was always a goal.

Now, I've just about finished a masters degree in adult education and have done everything I can during my studies to focus my writing on environmental and sustainability education and environmental literacy. My thesis reseach is based on a study I am doing to determine the level of environmental literacy amongst adults in Ontario.

I may go on after this and do a PhD in Environment and Sustainability, a new program currently being developed by Royal Roads University.

So, I am slowly moving into the environmental arena as a career. I have a course I am teaching that starts next month called Environmental Citizenship. I'd love to teach and consult in the area of environment/ecological literacy/sustainability and to help school boards incorporate environmental and sustainability values into their existing curricula of maths, englishes, social studies, etc.

Now, if only I can get a bit more time to get out and do the camping and canoeing and putzing about outdoors that I love and miss so much!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

We did a little camping when I was little, but the family cottage has come to be my piece of paradise close to wilderness. I've done some more adventuresome camping with my daughters, in fact those have been some of the most memorable experiences of the past few years. Marian and I did an overnight canoe trip with portages two summers ago, and I'm due to take Brenna on a similar adventure in 2006.

[writer00.livejournal.com]

Van,

Did you by any chance receive a package last week from Pittsburgh?

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Not here at home. You probably sent it to my mailbox (the Stone Rd. address) as I suggested, but I haven't checked there in a couple weeks. I will drive over there on Thursday if not sooner. Thanks for asking!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, those long-distance hugs count, too.

[leafshimmer.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing those thoughts. I for one am very glad you're still here.

Warm hugs, Shimmer

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

And I'm glad that you're part of my circle of friends here, Shimmer.

xoxo

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

LJ is definitely one of those "for the better" things.

I remembered you had mentioned that you couldn't be there on Saturday night. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

I considered LJ with a mixture of reluctance and uncertainty when I first started a few years ago. I found, however, in the past 18 months, especially, that the people on my Friends list have been an amazing support system. They've been willing to read and respond to some of my greatest fears and accomplishments.

They've truly been a most unexpected and much needed group.

LJ has a way of surprising me by continually being far more than I ever expected it would be.

...

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

I too am surprised at how much LJ has altered my life in the past two-and-a-half years, not only the people I have met and come to know on a face-to-face basis, but the friends who have contributed from a distance, too.