Untethered

[vaneramos]

This was my second week volunteering at Two Rivers. I go in twice a week for two hours around lunchtime. So far I have answered calls and done odd jobs no one else has time for, like tallying grocery tapes and fixing the fax machine (all I had to do was read the instructions).

Yesterday Heather called me efficient. That is a compliment I'm unaccustomed to hearing. People there are friendly, and that's all I ask.

Suddenly my time has shifted to revolve around this new responsibility. I'm having trouble keeping on top of the laundry and housework, and co-ordinating other responsibilities. I keep double booking myself. It feels like I'm coming untethered.

How would I handle a job where I had to work 20 hours a week instead of four? This stirs up old, unpleasant memories of previous jobs, in which I always felt overwhelmed and out of control. Some people thrive on stress. I would rather be peaceful most of the time.

The variety store across the street has started selling African cichlids. Looking out my office window at the right time of evening I can see them, bright angels under lights, flying through a cloud of snow.

Comments

[ghostsandrobots.livejournal.com]

How many days are you there? If you're spreading out your hours now, maybe you could try condensing them into fewer days. Not sure if that's helpful, but something that occurred to me. Might leave you longer stretches of decompression time.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Only Tuesdays and Thursdays for two hours each. It shouldn't be a big deal. It probably won't be, once I give myself a chance to adjust. Good suggestion, though. I'll bear it in mind especially when I start applying for part time jobs.