Mom again, about my man

[vaneramos]

On Wednesday I talked to Mom for about two hours. In the context of her encouraging me to bring Danny to the cottage sometime this summer (so I asked, "Do you mean while you and Dad are there, or not?"), she said, "I like being around Danny."

Maybe that doesn't surprise you. As most of my friends will attest, it's hard not to like him. He is simply adorable.

But the only way I was able to pick up the pieces with Mom a few years ago, was to accept that she would probably never demonstrate her characteristic warmth and hospitality toward a man I loved. Once, she even declared that she could not. So I am still dumbfounded by this change of heart, even though there are many good reasons for it.

It's another reminder that we're best to take people as they are rather than expecting things they can't be, and sometimes they'll surprise us.

Comments

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

>we're best to take people as they are rather than expecting things they can't be...

that is so true, van. i'm happy that your mom invited danny to the cottage. i hope you go and have a very pleasant visit.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the good wishes, Vicki. I'm sure we'll find a way to spend some time with them this summer. The phone calls are excellent, too.

[vaysha.livejournal.com]

oh Van, how heartwarming is that!
:)
glad for you and Danny and your mom too.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Yes, it made me weepy!

[susandennis]

That's very heart warming and I'm delighted for all of you.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Susan!

[art-thirst.livejournal.com]

That sounds really good!

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

It is.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

My dad was the same with Danny and Daniel when it was clear he didn't have long. At one point he said to us, they are like sons to me. Which was - wow - a total surprise.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Although Mom didn't want to undergo any treatment when she was first diagnosed, I asked if she regretted taking chemo, and she said no, because she has had five very good years. In that time I've appreciated her effort to heal the breach between us. Our relationship has improved a lot, although her words about Danny are still more than I expected to hear. I hadn't heard that story about your dad. We can be grateful for these kind words from our parents, because I've known sick people (or just old) to go the other way, becoming more and more difficult and stubborn.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Quite apart from any validation for me I'm totally proud of him for having done the right thing. Sounds odd but it's true.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

That's really nice. Gets better all the time.

I've been fortunate in that my parents have treated John like one of the family from day one.

Friday's Dear Abby seems to be on point here.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Interesting column. It's nice to see that!