Mom again, about my man

[vaneramos]

On Wednesday I talked to Mom for about two hours. In the context of her encouraging me to bring Danny to the cottage sometime this summer (so I asked, "Do you mean while you and Dad are there, or not?"), she said, "I like being around Danny."

Maybe that doesn't surprise you. As most of my friends will attest, it's hard not to like him. He is simply adorable.

But the only way I was able to pick up the pieces with Mom a few years ago, was to accept that she would probably never demonstrate her characteristic warmth and hospitality toward a man I loved. Once, she even declared that she could not. So I am still dumbfounded by this change of heart, even though there are many good reasons for it.

It's another reminder that we're best to take people as they are rather than expecting things they can't be, and sometimes they'll surprise us.

Comments

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

My dad was the same with Danny and Daniel when it was clear he didn't have long. At one point he said to us, they are like sons to me. Which was - wow - a total surprise.

[vaneramos.livejournal.com]

Although Mom didn't want to undergo any treatment when she was first diagnosed, I asked if she regretted taking chemo, and she said no, because she has had five very good years. In that time I've appreciated her effort to heal the breach between us. Our relationship has improved a lot, although her words about Danny are still more than I expected to hear. I hadn't heard that story about your dad. We can be grateful for these kind words from our parents, because I've known sick people (or just old) to go the other way, becoming more and more difficult and stubborn.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Quite apart from any validation for me I'm totally proud of him for having done the right thing. Sounds odd but it's true.