Who to thank?
Apr. 29th, 2003 05:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaneramosOne of the awkward things about being an atheist is not knowing who to thank. This afternoon I felt full of praise and gratitude. I might say, "Praise the universe." But the universe doesn't hear, care or even think.
My walk didn't start out so well. I considered buying new batteries for the camera, decided not to, and left the apartment. Arriving in the woods without it 15 minutes later, I immediately regretted my decision.
At other times I might have decided to forget it, but not today. These few weeks between April 15 and May 15 are my favourite time of year. This is when ephemeral woodland flowers bloom, migrating birds return and the trees leaf out.
Today for the first time I saw the Eastern phoebe perched in a tree on the riverside field where he and his mate nest every spring.
In the woods across the river I found a radiant clump of bloodroot. In the drab spring woods, there is no sight more joyful. The flowers pass quickly. Some years I miss them altogether.
This time I was determined to capture the image. Who knows whether it will rain tomorrow, or when I'll have a chance to walk there again. I had no choice but to go home, get my camera, and buy some batteries across the street. The corner variety store had "Extra Heavy Duty" Panasonic AA batteries, $2.69 for a pack of four. I had no choice.
By now I should know better than to waste money on cheap batteries for the camera.
One of the good things about being an atheist is I have no one to curse, no one else to blame for my stupid mistakes. I must take ultimate responsibility for my own life. Sometimes having a sense of responsiblity facilitates making better decisions the next time.
But not today. Those useless batteries had enough juice for all of 15 images. But at least I managed to return to the woods across the river and take pictures of the bloodroot.
I searched further for wild ginger. It took a while, but finally I noticed some shoots barely emerging from the matted leaves. The shy, purple flowers won't be open for a few more days.
Then something stopped me in my tracks. Two mallards were huddled near the trail, a long waddle from the riverbank. They were languid, almost stupefied, and hesitated to move away. They must have been mating when I happened along, or maybe luxuriating in the afterglow. Otherwise I would not have seen them together. The drake departs once this business is done and leaves the female to raise the young by herself.
I learned something new about mallards on the nature walk with Sylvie the other day. The female duck will look for a pair of Canada geese and nest near them if possible, often on the other side of a small island. Unlike mallards, male geese don't abandon their mates. The pair shares responsiblity for incubating the eggs, raising the young and guarding the nest. As a couple they have more time and energy to defend the site from predators, so the single female mallard benefits from nesting in their vicinity.
Just a few minutes earlier I had seen a Canada goose sitting on a nest on an island in the river. I suppose the female mallard busy in the woods has already figured everything out.
Walking home down a quiet alley, I was glad about the warm sunshine. I was glad for bloodroot, glad that I had not gone looking too late, and glad that I had taken a photo. I was glad that abandonned mallard mothers are so resourceful.
Most of all I was glad to be on my feet in the April sunshine. Five weeks ago before my surgery, I expected to spend these weeks in pain, barely limping to the end of the street if I was lucky, missing an entire spring of woodland wonder. Things turned out differently. My body is surprisingly strong and resilient, and I'm glad, glad, glad.
But I don't know who to thank.
My walk didn't start out so well. I considered buying new batteries for the camera, decided not to, and left the apartment. Arriving in the woods without it 15 minutes later, I immediately regretted my decision.
At other times I might have decided to forget it, but not today. These few weeks between April 15 and May 15 are my favourite time of year. This is when ephemeral woodland flowers bloom, migrating birds return and the trees leaf out.
Today for the first time I saw the Eastern phoebe perched in a tree on the riverside field where he and his mate nest every spring.
In the woods across the river I found a radiant clump of bloodroot. In the drab spring woods, there is no sight more joyful. The flowers pass quickly. Some years I miss them altogether.
This time I was determined to capture the image. Who knows whether it will rain tomorrow, or when I'll have a chance to walk there again. I had no choice but to go home, get my camera, and buy some batteries across the street. The corner variety store had "Extra Heavy Duty" Panasonic AA batteries, $2.69 for a pack of four. I had no choice.
By now I should know better than to waste money on cheap batteries for the camera.
One of the good things about being an atheist is I have no one to curse, no one else to blame for my stupid mistakes. I must take ultimate responsibility for my own life. Sometimes having a sense of responsiblity facilitates making better decisions the next time.
But not today. Those useless batteries had enough juice for all of 15 images. But at least I managed to return to the woods across the river and take pictures of the bloodroot.
I searched further for wild ginger. It took a while, but finally I noticed some shoots barely emerging from the matted leaves. The shy, purple flowers won't be open for a few more days.
Then something stopped me in my tracks. Two mallards were huddled near the trail, a long waddle from the riverbank. They were languid, almost stupefied, and hesitated to move away. They must have been mating when I happened along, or maybe luxuriating in the afterglow. Otherwise I would not have seen them together. The drake departs once this business is done and leaves the female to raise the young by herself.
I learned something new about mallards on the nature walk with Sylvie the other day. The female duck will look for a pair of Canada geese and nest near them if possible, often on the other side of a small island. Unlike mallards, male geese don't abandon their mates. The pair shares responsiblity for incubating the eggs, raising the young and guarding the nest. As a couple they have more time and energy to defend the site from predators, so the single female mallard benefits from nesting in their vicinity.
Just a few minutes earlier I had seen a Canada goose sitting on a nest on an island in the river. I suppose the female mallard busy in the woods has already figured everything out.
Walking home down a quiet alley, I was glad about the warm sunshine. I was glad for bloodroot, glad that I had not gone looking too late, and glad that I had taken a photo. I was glad that abandonned mallard mothers are so resourceful.
Most of all I was glad to be on my feet in the April sunshine. Five weeks ago before my surgery, I expected to spend these weeks in pain, barely limping to the end of the street if I was lucky, missing an entire spring of woodland wonder. Things turned out differently. My body is surprisingly strong and resilient, and I'm glad, glad, glad.
But I don't know who to thank.
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-30 05:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-30 09:35 am (UTC)I'm not a pure atheist, since, for all I know, there just might be some omniscient omnipotent beastie that created the universe. Exactly what Its responsibilities or concerns might be are beyond me, though, so I choose not to worry about it overmuch and act pretty much like your standard everyday atheist. But, for fun, I pour libations to the Gods of Probability; they've got some whacked-out sense of humor.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-30 11:43 am (UTC)Sounds like you are an agnostic, which is perfectly respectable.